Surgeons married to physicians face more challenges in balancing their personal and professional lives than do surgeons whose partners work in a non-physician field or stay at home, according to research findings published in the November 2011 issue of the Journal of the American College of Surgeons. Additionally, two-doctor couples were more likely to delay having children and to feel that their work did not leave enough time for a family life.

They also concluded that surgeons in dual-physician relationships had a greater incidence of the following when compared with surgeons whose partners stayed home:

  • career conflicts and work-home conflicts
  • depressive symptoms and low mental quality of life

If you are a surgeon married to a physician (or vice versa), here are a couple of recommendations to ensure a long-lasting and fulfilling marriage:

1) Learn and practice effective communication skills to ensure teamwork and harmony
Good communication is the foundation for any successful marriage. Since you are feeling even greater challenges than non-physician couples, strengthening your communication with your spouse is extremely important.

2) Simplify your life and implement valuable systems
Automate bill payments, delegate chores, limit volunteer and committee responsibilities, and keep your life manageable so that you have room for family time.

3) Plan vacations and date nights with your spouse
Spending alone time with your spouse is crucial for effective communication and a strong relationship. Plan a date night with your spouse at least once a month, and make sure you plan family vacations independently from CME conferences.

4) Control your stress
Stress is part of life. We all have different stress tolerance levels and it is up to us to keep stress controlled so that we stay productive and satisfied. When we deal with more stress than we can handle, we become irritable, frustrated, and unbearable, which can fuel conflicts in our work and personal life.

Self-reflection questions:

  • What do I enjoy the most about the relationship with my spouse?
  • What could be improved?
  • Which skill mentioned above do I want to develop more?