Take a Snapshot of Your Life
If you were to take a snapshot of your life right now, how would you feel about it? Do you love your life? And if not entirely, how much do you love it—80%, 60%, 50%? What would you change to improve it?
As a recovering perfectionist, I believed 100% satisfaction was the goal. Anything less—99% or lower—was failure. This mindset led to a constant sense of discontent and the feeling that I wasn’t good enough. I thought if life didn’t go my way, it was because I was doing something wrong.
It took me over 40 years to realize that life isn’t about perfection. It’s not about arriving at some mythical destination where everything is flawless and all complaints vanish. But at the same time, it doesn’t mean we should settle for mediocrity and stop striving for improvements or greater results.
Life Is Not About Perfection—It’s About Perspective
After years of coaching, I’ve learned enough to understand what makes for a good life and how we can optimize both our performance and our overall contentment. The key realization that shifted everything for me—and could for you, too—is this:
We experience life through our thinking, not through our circumstances.
Too often, we believe our happiness depends on external events. When I get that promotion, I’ll be happy. When the weather is nice, I’ll feel better. When I reach a certain income level, I’ll feel secure.
But the truth is, it’s not those external circumstances that make us happy or unhappy—it’s how we think about them. Let me illustrate.
An Example of the Power of Perspective
I love warm weather, particularly when it’s around 72°F. It’s the perfect temperature—not too hot, not too cold. I can leave my jacket behind, and my deodorant won’t fail me.
But if I’m on a ski trip, 72°F would ruin my fun. Suddenly, my “perfect” temperature is no longer ideal. The weather hasn’t changed—only my circumstances and perspective have.
Let’s consider another example: a flat tire. For me, a flat tire is frustrating and inconvenient. But for a AAA driver, it’s a great thing—it means business. Meanwhile, for someone driving by and seeing my flat tire, it’s neither good nor bad. They’re just passing by.
So, does a flat tire have to be a source of stress? Only if I let my thoughts make it negative. If, instead, I focus on how helpful the AAA driver is and we have a great conversation, maybe even become friends, suddenly that flat tire doesn’t seem so bad. In fact, it might end up being a blessing.
How This Relates to Life and Contentment
This concept—your happiness depends on your thinking, not your circumstances—applies to everything in life.
For example, when a snowstorm hits Atlanta, some business owners might stress over lost revenue. Meanwhile, grocery stores and hardware stores celebrate, knowing that snowstorms bring in extra business. The external circumstance (the snowstorm) is the same for everyone, but what changes is their thinking about it.
The more we realize that our contentment doesn’t hinge on circumstances, the more we can see that we are the creators of our life experience. Life doesn’t have to be perfect for you to be happy.
Circumstances are just that—circumstances. It’s not your job to label them good or bad. Instead, focus on experiencing them without judgment. The less attention you give to the voice in your head that’s constantly evaluating, the more peace and ease you’ll find in the long run.
Changing Your Perspective Changes Your Life
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
This doesn’t mean you should stop having dreams and desires. Quite the opposite—goals are important. But often, people set goals or New Year’s resolutions and fail to achieve them. Why?
Because every problem we face in life comes from getting lost in our thinking. The solution is always the same—find your way back to the present, to what matters, and stop letting your thoughts control your experience.
So, take a breath and remember: Life doesn’t have to be perfect for you to enjoy it. You don’t need to control external events to feel happy. What matters most is how you think about the life you’re living right now. When you shift your thinking, you’ll discover that ease and peace are already within your grasp.